Top Ten--June 2008

Top Ten things said, done, and heard on the homefront.

10) Non de plumes: I know I am using the term incorrectly, as there are no literary ambitions among the children just yet, but whatever. The kids LOVE play names. Lucy’s current favorite is “Katie.” Kye is “Peter,” and Isaac adamantly refuses to answer to anything except “Hot Wheels.”

9) Spelunker: Adam’s future career, if his current interests have anything to do with it. He will roam the house looking for the smallest possible space to wedge himself into. He crawls through the piano legs, up and over the end table, around the benches, and under his crib.

8) Electrician: Adam’s second choice for future career. He likes to suck on plugs. Unlike my nephew, however, he has not yet electrocuted his eyes (no permanent damage done).

7) Kye: My favorite holidays are Christmas, Halloween, July 4th, Easter, and the day that guy turned our macaroni green. (We were festive this year for St. Patrick’s Day.)
6) Lucy’s lemonade stand: she’s been dying to have one, but I just can’t get her to understand that $1.00 a glass constitutes extortion. So instead we had a toy sale and she made a whopping $4.50.
5) Isaac: Mom, are you sick?
Me: No, not as sick as you.
Isaac: (taking a running leap at my legs) Now if I hug you soooooooo long, I won’t be sick, eeder.
Oh, if only it were that easy.
4) The kids foraging the house for food. Turns out they were pretending one day that their mom and dad had died and they had a really MEAN step mom and step dad who wouldn’t feed them. I was assigned to be a nice neighbor lady who always gave them food when they came begging. Apparently I didn’t feed them well enough because soon they had to resort to making their own and cooking it over a bark chip fire. Poor, starving children.
3) “Fumbs up, mom.” Isaac’s current expression of approval or happiness.

2) Lucy: Mom, during summer vacation, do dads still have to go to work?
Me: Yes, why?
Lucy: Well, then why is daddy home again? (Family in town, sick, more family, and a little more sickness. . . maybe we’re on to something here.)

1) Kye’s future as a diplomat. During one gruesome basement cleanup, I was a little, ahem, grouchy. Just how grouchy I won’t say, because THAT is self-incrimination. During yet another lecture to the kids about how I wasn’t going to do all the work myself, and I wasn’t going to help if they didn’t do their part, for crying out loud, Kye interrupted my soliloquy. “Mom, I love you. You are the best mom ever. Why don’t we sing a happy working song to make the time go faster?” Was he oblivious to the tension? Could he not HEAR my incredibly grumpy words? Apparently not, thank goodness. I stopped the lecture, started singing the song from “Enchanted,” and he interrupted again with, “Not that song, mom. Let’s sing ‘I am a Child of God.’” How can you say no to that? Seriously . . .