Top Ten: October 2013

Aaaaaand that's two months in a row, folks. On FIRE!

10) Isaac’s unfortunate inheritances:  My hearing and Zach’s spelling

Exhibit One—

Lucy: My canker sore is really hurting right now.

Isaac: What is a kangaroo shoulder?

Exhibit Two—As seen on his geography test:  Sowthamarkia, Eurup, Psifik, Alantik, Indin, and Astrila. 

Oh, dear. . . But 10 points if you can interpret this bad boy, also from the same test: rsikol.

9) Slugbug, Out of State License Plates, and Twinkie (yellow school bus) sightings all warrant a punch in our family.  I’ve tried to stop it but that hasn’t caught on yet.  And if the kids aren’t near enough to punch someone, they save them up.  I had to laugh one morning when the kids flew out of the van like bats out of you-know-where, trying to avoid Kye and the Twinkie-sighting punching rights he’d gotten on the drive to school.  (He saw 17.  Truth.)

8)Eli (running excitedly into the bathroom one evening): IWANNABRUSHMYTEEF!!  IWANNA BRUSH MY TEEF!!

Lucy: Sheesh!  I’ve never seen a 2 year old so excited about personal hygiene before.

7)  Sign seen on a Phoenix, AZ freeway in October: “Winter Driving Conditions: Drive with Care!”  Outside temperature noted: 86 degrees.  I know people acclimatize in AZ, but that’s just ridiculous.

6) Adam: I can’t do it!

Mom: Yes you can.  You can do hard things.

Adam: No, Kye can do hard things.

5) Adam: When we passed Burber King, I saw a mini-Twinkie there.

Dad: Oh!  Did you eat hamburbers there?

4) Eli (AKA The Amazing Rubber Boy).  That kid fell from a porch swing directly down one of our window wells with nary an injury, except the smallest of scratches.  I’m kind of surprised he didn’t just bounce right back up out of there.

3)During drug free week, we discussed our family rules about drugs, which ended up being something like, “Never, ever, EVER do them or we will cut off your hands and if you have no hands you can never eat another banana . . . and you guys all like bananas.”  That should keep them clean.

2) Most experiences with your last child have something of a nostalgic, almost bittersweet tinge to them, as you realize this is it for you.  Potty training is not one of those things.  We were struggling a bit getting Eli to do his deed on the potty. . . until we bribed him with the IPad.  I’ll be danged if that kid can’t poop at will now.  Not even kidding.  If he ends up with hemorrhoids, we can blame the IPad and its allure for 2 year olds.

1)After reading Moroni’s challenge at the end of the Book of Mormon to come unto Christ and be perfected in him, Adam thoughtfully replied, “I’m almost perfect.”

Mom: Um, what’s that sweetie?

Adam: Yeah.  I pretty much am perfect.

Practically perfect in every way—that’s my boy!

Top Ten Post . . . Or Wherein I Admit I Have Failed

I made, like, two New Year's resolutions this year.  And then I promptly broke both of them.  One was to do Top Ten (or Top Five, if needed) posts every month of the year, and the other was . . . I don't even remember.  I obviously wasn't committed from the start because I didn't even write them down. 

Fortunately, I am well past the point in my life when I get down about such things.  One of my favorite Marjorie Pay Hinckley stories came from a letter she wrote to her daughter (I think?).  She said, "I've made a goal to read one chapter out of each of the standard works every day.  I'm four days in and three days behind.  Oh well.  Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried."  Wise, wise woman.  So I don't feel the slightest bit bad that my resolutions didn't stick.  Except that we love to go back and read our Top Tens because they help tell our family story.  So it's time to get back on the saddle and try again.

Note: this Top Ten comes from months of random events.  ENJOY!  (I know we will when we come back and read it again in a year or so.)

10) Adam: What day is it?  I could order Pokemon today.
Lucy: Mmm-hmmmm.
A: I hope the mail people aren't Catholic.
L: Ummm, why?
A:  Because then my Pokemon can't come on Sunday!

9) Overheard dinner conversation:
L: If you were an ice cream topping, what would you be?  I would be cherries.
K: Hmmm.  Hot fudge.
I: Caramel.
A: I like sprinkles!
E: Chocolate.
M: I think you're all nuts!

8) M: Slinkies off your noses during prayer!
(Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd need to say...)

7) Adam: I can do it easilier.  (Trying to teach the basics of the English language to a 5 year old is confusing for both of us.  How do you explain our grammar?  It just doesn't make sense.)

6) Lucy (after watching a video of the Prophets and Apostles bearing their testimonies of Jesus Christ):  I just feel so sorry for anyone who doesn't know about Jesus.

5) What is up with the love/hate relationship of siblings?  I KNOW that's how it is.  I grew up with 8 siblings.  I really do get it.  And still, the change from loving, hugging, laughing brothers to yelling and punching each other in the face and screaming in under 2 seconds seems a little excessive.  They'll like each other when they get older, right?  Right, brothers??

4) When one is making baking powder biscuits for the first time in awhile, one should make sure that they are actually using baking powder instead of . . . say . . . baking soda.  Because otherwise one will take a bite and spit it out when one realizes just how disgusting baking soda biscuits are.  For the record.  (And it might take one an hour or so to realize just WHY the biscuits were so awful, and then it will just come to one as a bolt from the blue.  For the record.)

3) After a little coaching, I let Isaac call his Primary teacher to say thank you for the gift she brought him and left on the porch.  And this is how it went down:
I: Hi!  This message is for Sister Buhler.  This is Isaac.   Thank you for the gifts you brought me.  They are really fun.  Bye! . . . . . . . MOM!  HOW DO YOU END A MESSAGE!?!?!?
M: Just hang up the phone, Isaac.
I: Ohhhhhhhhhh.  Hahahahahahahaha--click.

I'll bet she got a kick out of that one.

2) Our carpool friend came hopping up to the car one afternoon and I asked him what happened?  Twisted ankle?  Nope.  Stubbed toe?  Nope.  Sore leg?  Nope again.  He decided he wanted to hop on one foot until his birthday the next day.  You know.  Just cause.

1) A: If Lucy died would Isaac, Kye, and I get her money?  We could split it up!
A: You'll be consequenced that...
And...
M: OK.  Do you know what you do when your alarm goes off?
A: Yeah.  I go 'cawcacaw' and everyone else in the house wakes up.

Mmmm, hmmmm.  Something like that.

That's all folks.  See you next month.  Maybe.

February 2013 Top Ten

10) Me: Go, Adam, go!  As fast as a speeding bullet!

Adam: (meandering away) I’m going to go as slow as a walking cow.

Me: Um, I have no reply for that.

I wish this was atypical of my attempts to get Adam to move a little quicker through routines and chores.  It’s not.

9) Lost: one wedding ring with 3 diamonds and 2 rubies (lost about 6 months ago).

Found: 11 crayons, 2 Beyblades, 15 LEGOs, and countless coins (down the heating vent).  Also, 1 small screwdriver (in the vacuum hose).

8) Adam: How old will I be when I’m an uncle?  Will I be 16?  6?  7?

Me: Definitely no on the 6 or 7.  Maybe on the 16.

Adam: Argh!  I want to be young!

Me: Adam, 16 is still young.  You will be a young uncle.

Adam: A young uncle?  Will that make me a yuncle?

7) Lucy (while trying to list all my siblings in order as fast as she could): Matt, Micah, Becca, Sarah, Katie, Camille, Uncle Shark-Bait Ooh,Ah,Ah, Seth, and David.

(Long story short, when the kids saw Jacob’s massive shark-bite-looking scar on his leg, he told them they could call him Uncle Shark-Bait [ala Finding Nemo].  I guess the name stuck.)

6) Wherein Eli learns to communicate: Eli’s learning new words every day.  He gets a little frustrated when he can’t get his point across, though.  One night, he started shrieking because Zach couldn’t understand what he wanted.  He finally dragged Zach over to the kitchen counter, pointed to the IPOD speaker and started dancing around the kitchen.  Zach: Eli, do you want to listen to music and dance?  Eli: Yes!

5)Adam (after jumping off the counter and hurting his leg in the process): Ugh!  Bad idea, me.”

4) Wherein Lucy gets frightened by the toaster: once upon a time we had hot chocolate and toast for afternoon snack.  Lucy got a little tired of waiting for the toast, so she went to check the toasting status.  Not done.  Disappointed, she turned just as the toast popped up.  Lucy jumped a foot in the air.  With a cup of hot chocolate in her hand.  Awesome. 

3) The sad demise of Nate, Kye’s beloved balloon.  This balloon had to have been at least 3 months old.  He had marker face and hair, and has been the star of many Monkey in the Middle and indoor volleyball games.  Alas, his wee shrunken little head let us know it was time to let him go.  So we pinned him.  He went out with a bang.  Well, more of a slow hiss, really.

2)Me: Adam, what does w-h-i-t-e spell?

Adam: White!

Me: G-r-e-e-n?

Adam: Green!

M: R-e-d?  P-i-n-k?  B-l-a-c-k-?   B-r-o-w-n?  

Adam: Red!  Pink!  Black!  Brown!

Me: Great!  What does p-u-r-p-l-e spell?

Adam: Hey!  We haven’t learned purple yet!

1)The end of an era:  after lots and lots of thought and meditation, I went through the baby boy clothes and passed them all on to a sister’s sister-in-law.  It was heart-wrenching and painful.  Just kidding.  I ripped through those suckers like they were going out of style.  All baby boy items are now gone from the house (except a few handmade blankets that we’ll keep).  I feeeeeeeeeeel good! 

p.s. However, I still have 4 buckets of baby girl clothes in the storage room.  Shhhh.  Don’t tell Zach.

Top Ten-January 2013

Top Ten January 2013

I’m pretty sure I haven’t kept consistent top ten notes since, oh say, March 2011.  Now you might think that I am accusing an innocent little baby, who happened to be born that month, of my inability to jot things down.  In this assumption, you would be entirely correct. 

This amazingly crazy-intense-sometimes-sweet-often-running little boy has interrupted me twice since I started writing this paragraph.  Like pulling on my sweater, crying, trying to drag me up off this chair interrupting.  I promise I pay attention to him.  I play with him.  I read to him.  I get him a million cups of milk and a billion snacks a day.  And yet. . . sigh.  Gotta run.

Back with our top ten.  I wish I could mic the kiddos who go to school so I could hear and record all of their hilarity.  Since that’s not an option, we’ll stick with what we’ve got.

10-If the children chose occupations based on current interests and/or tendencies:

L: Basketball-playing, theater-actressing, Perplexus expert.

K: Basketball-playing, math-doing, wii-playing, paper-airplane builder/flyer.

I: Lego-building, history-quoting, ninja-dancing pirate.

A: Car-racing, constant-talking, pre-school-loving, Flash-superhero.

E: Temper-tantrum-throwing, orange-biting, garbage man.

9- Eli’s ongoing obsession with garbage.  And the dishwasher.  But mostly garbage.  He throws things away.  He empties the trash onto the floor.  He drags the recycling bin around the house.  Wha?

8-Adam the motor mouth.  Sometimes I just have to beg him to stop because my ears need a rest.  Today, however, I could just listen and laugh.  “Blah, blah, blah.  And then there were cheese clouds in the sky.”

M: Adam, what are cheese clouds?

A: Clouds that snow down cheese.  You know, it’s like, you’re looking at the snow and it’s yellow instead of white.  And then you think, ‘huh?’ but you look closer and realize it’s cheese, and then people all over start eating it up.

7: Lucy the scapegoat: a common catchphrase in the Larson household is, “I blame LUCY!”  She’s gotten blamed for everything from leaving the garage door open to misplacing Becca’s phone.  The more outlandish the “crime,” the more Lucy is blamed.  Because we can’t do it in our house, we had to look elsewhere for our scapegoat.  “We blame Maja!”

6: Adam sort of despises his middle name.  It’s not very common and I think he can’t figure out why his middle name isn’t like other kids’ middle names.  Finally, I told him, “Adam, you are named after your Grandpa.  We gave you your middle name because Grandpa Delwyn is a good, good man.”

Adam: (sigh) He’s also a spankin’ man.

Truer words have never been spoken, Adam.

5: With 5 males in the house, there is understandably a lot of bodily noise.  I don’t know why it has to be so, I just know it IS so.  And Eli picked up on one of the most common phrases heard in our household.  He often gives a fake “eeeeeerrrrrrrr” sound and then says, “’scuse me.”  Like a million times a day.  The only problem is, he never actually says it when he really burps.  Teaching manners seems to be a lifelong obligation.

4: Z: You’re crazy!

A: I’m not crazy, I’m Superman.  Superman is never crazy.

3: Eli loves to pray.  M-kay.  That was my wishful thinking creeping in there.  He actually loves to END a prayer and then say, “Goooooooooo, Bradshaws!” which is what we say after family prayer.  Unfortunately, Eli says it after every prayer.  And today during our opening prayer in sacrament meeting, he tried to say, “Goooooooooo” like 17 times.  Loudly.  Seriously—like wrestling a LOUD greased pig.

2: Kye’s ball court prowess continues.  Our kids make it through 3^rd grade ball before they become significantly shorter than every other kid on the court.  Bless their hearts, they just keep trying and trying.  Let’s just say shooting and rebounding are sort of out of the question, no matter how hard they try.  And they DO try.  That’s the important thing, really.

1: A: I sometimes just get so mad that I do something awkward.

M: Like what?

A: Like punch myself in the face.

M: Adam, do you know what “awkward” means?

A: Not really.

____________________________

And two never recorded bonuses from last year:

A: Mom, you should be beautiful for Halloween.

M: How can I look beautiful?

A: I don’t know.  You just BE beautiful.

M: Is that different than I usually look?

A: Yes.  It really is.  I’m so awesome.

Minute by minute recording of our car trip from Disneyland to AZ in October 2012:

9:00: Leave hotel in LA.

9:30: Adam- I have to go potty!

9:55: Isaac pukes.

10:00: Kye and Adam- I really have to go to the bathroom! (Consequently, first stop)

12:10: Adam-I have to go potty! (Stop in the armpit of America.  Blythe, CA, in case you didn’t already know.)

12:11: Zach buys two packages of chocolate donuts so we can get a key to the restroom.

12:22: Adam-I want a plasticy chocolate donut, too!

Later: Adam-I just want some n-um-n’s to DESTROY my hunger.

The other kids said little.  Eli was busy eating leftover cheetza (cheese pizza) and watching Elmo.  The older ones just read books.  But Adam obviously keeps us entertained.

Top Ten-ish for Junlygust and Sepoctvember 2012

Until I start paying $2.50 a month for all of my pictures storage (Ummm, what!?) on google, it looks like I'm stuck with wordy-word posts.  Luckily, I haven't done a top ten since Aprimay of this year, I don't usually have pictures for those.  So here we go:

Top Twenty-One for a lot of months 2012:

21) I love to sing.  I love to sing the wrong words.  Well, that part is actually unintentional.  Most of the time I just can’t hear the words, so I sing . . . whatever.   But apparently it’s hereditary.  After listening to Hey there Delilah’s line “Two more years and you’ll be done with school,” Adam asked, “What is ‘McDonald’s school?”

20) Panicked pride-the feeling you get when you realize your kid understands the Parent Code of Spelling which you have used to tell secrets in plain sight/hearing.  So now we are down to 1—ONE kid that we can have private/public conversations in front of. 

19) Eli vocab at 18 months: MOM!  DAD!  Dedus (Jesus), Ehmo, shoe, dump (jump), Sissy (Lucy, Kye, Isaac, or Adam), see-wo (cereal), mechhhh (milk), and choo-choo.

18) Isaac (after running back into his class to grab his forgotten homework): My teacher was gone, but she left the music running.

M: Oh!  Why kind of music does she play?

I: You know, the sad kind.

M: What is sad music?

I: The kind without words.

17) What Eli will eat: lipstick, his blanket, Zach’s deodorant, trash, gum, and cereal.

What Eli will NOT eat: chicken, hot dogs, veggies, fruit, rolls, salad, and anything healthy.

16) Adam (while we drove past the Springville High School, just down the hill from our neighborhood): We drove past this way when dad took a wrong turn and lost hisself . . . and us . . . and the van, too.

15) Proof that my hubby’s caffeine habit is corrupting the children:

K: Lu, what is the world’s largest fruit.

L: Tomato?

K: Nope.

L: Watermelon?

K: Nope.

Adam: Pepsi?

K: (Pause) Nope, but it DOES start with a “P.”

14) Ahhh, the language of childhood.  It’s how we’ve gained some of our favorite family words: “spirsty” from my niece Sarah, “witchy-witchy-ho” (delicioso) from niece Hannah, “scritchpures” from Lucy, and our latest additions, “kawiwi” and “swirlpool” courtesy of Adam.

13) A sure sign your children are watching too much Phineas and Ferb:  Adam (to Lucy)—Argh!  Curse you, Perry the PlatyLOOS!

12) A: I forgot what Samuel the Lamanite looks like!

M: Umm, did you ever know what he looked like?

11) Wherein Eli and I have a disagreement.  I think he still needs 2 naps a day.  He does NOT.  He’s winning. 

10) Overheard:

A: Where is Jesus?

L: In heaven.

A: Where’s heaven?

L: I’m not sure.

A: I think it might be in space . . . or under the ground.

L: Ummm, okay.

A: I think the worms help people by going down and telling Jesus their prayers.

(Aaaaaand it’s time for a lesson in FHE about prayer.)

9) While joining Zach and I on a date to celebrate his 9^th bday, Kye was very excited to go out to Ruby River.  This kid loves steak.  What did he order?  “Yes, I’ll have a ‘kay-bob’ please. “

Adam has his own language.  Case in point . . .

M: How did you sleep last night?  Did you have any dreams?

A: I had a sleep check.

M: A what now?

A: A sleep check.  That’s what I call it when I don’t have any dreams.

M: Why?

A:  I don’t know.  I’m so awesome.

8) And “footless”: wherein you are only wearing one shoe.

And “doom”: as in “Oh good.  It didn’t land in the doom.”

M: Huh?

A: The doom is my mouth.

7) I feel like most of part of the conversation with Adam is, “Umm, say what?”

A: I want to marry you mom.  That would be saweeeeeet.  Just kidding.  I can’t marry you.

6) Isaac’s current dream job: a dancing sword-fighting ninja.  Love it!

A: Mom, what is dad’s job, even?

M: (description of job).  Why what did you think dad’s job was?

A: I thought it was blahblahblahblahblah.

5) 11 crayons and a beyblade: what I fished out of the vents when I realized Eli had been taking off the vent covers and stashing stuff in there.  I’m beginning to suspect there is a reason I haven’t been able to find my wedding ring for 2 ½ months.

4) Wearing nylons and a skirt with satin lining + holding the squirmiest toddler in the world= I feel like I’m wrestling a greased pig during church.  (And I get a little unintended leg exposure in there.  Blast!)

3) A: I want to go on my mission to a zoo.  With penguins.  So I can teach them.

2) A: That would be funny if animals could eat each other at the same time.

M: I think that would be gross.

A: Yeah.  Gross and FUNNY!

1) 17: The average number of times that Adam says he’s awesome every day.

Top Ten--March 2012

Bradshaw Top Ten-March 2012

10) Oh the ever-loving spitting of the 11 month old kid.  What is UP with the spitting?  I’ve found myself covered in oatmeal, rice cereal, carrots, peas, peaches and . . . well, you name it.  And they all stick like glue to the floor.

9)  While looking at a picture of my native state’s most famous landmark, I heard this come out of Adam’s mouth:  “When Vineas and Verb went to Rountin Mushmore, this guy (pointing to Lincoln) turned into Candice’s head.  Mom, we should visit Rountin Mushmore sometime.”  I learned several things from this.  1) My kids watch too much Phineas and Ferb.  2) I need to watch that episode.  Sounds hilarious.  3)My referring of Mount Rushmore as “Rount Mushmore” has tainted my children for life.

8) March is  so sicky.  Last year we were dealing with pneumonia and other nasty stuff.  We came away pretty good this year with only  2 rounds of double ear infections, a case of strep, a terrible cold and sinus thing that got passed around, a slight concussion (ahem . . . Zach), and a skin breakout, but that was because Adam used a dinosaur stamp up and down his arm and it puffed up and turned pink, which happens to be his favorite color.  So it’s all good.

7) Kye, wanting desperately to play Wii, but feeling thwarted because it was piano lesson day: Ugh!  I hate piano.  It’s such a waste of time!
Me: What do you mean?
Kye: Well, you know time?  Piano WASTES IT! (If only I could describe to bitterness in those words as he said them.  You’ll be relieved to know he got over it.)

6)  Eli’s first spoken word:  “Hiiiiiiiiii!”
Eli’s first signed words: “All done” (which looks exactly like he’s waving his hands in the air.) And “More” (which looks like he’s clapping his hands).  So I’m pretty sure he was signing, but it’s anybody’s guess, really.

5) Isaac: Mom, it still looks like you’re in your 20’s. . . kind of.
How does he know what the “20’s” look like exactly?  Then again, who cares?  I’ll take it!

4) Adam (when Gpa Ron left our house to drive back up to Malad, after getting at least 5 “last hugs” from each of the kids):  But I can’t leave him!  I caaaaaan’t leeeeeeeeeeave him! (complete with rolling on the floor in despair and overly dramatic sad voice.)

3) After writing down a list of goals to work on, I came back to look at them and found this one in someone else’s handwriting: Don’t be sarcastic with Lucy because she can tell if you are being sarcastic and it hurts her feelings! 
Point taken, dear daughter.  And I’ll work on it.

2) Isaac: I’ll be downstairs in *snort*snort* seconds.  That means two in pig language.

1) And the weirdest sentence of the month goes to . . . ADAM!  (And I quote) “Daddy should really be a doctor of thumbnails.” 

Bradshaw Top Ten--February 2012

Aaaaand we’re back.  Seems like it was awfully short month.  And I guess it technically was, even with leap day added in.  But add to that a good 10 day vacation to CA and AZ smack dab in the middle of the month, and it really flew by.  Anyhoo, let’s dig right in, shall we?

10- Kye: Who’s playing in the Super Bowl?
Lucy: It’s the Giants and the Patriots.

Me: Ummmm, how on earth do you know that?

Lucy: Church.

Ah, yes.  The essentials taught in Primary: faith, prayer, Super Bowl. 

9- When it comes to me singing, my children have most often been, how shall we say?  Ummm, unsupportive.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words, “Mom, stop SINGING!” I’d be a rich woman.  Adam seemed unusually unperturbed (or at least not downright hostile) as I practiced a song for a month, to be sung at a RS event.  Until, one day I was one measure into the song, and . . .

Adam: Your singing makes my elbows hurt.

Uh, what now?

8-Newport Beach.  There is something so very right about wearing flip flops in February.  We had a few days on the beach—took some walks, let the kids jump in the waves (though I like the flip flops in February, I feel like swimsuits at 60 degrees are a little crazy.  My kids disagree.), played in the sand, and stayed at a beautiful beach house with most of our Bradshaw family.  Good times.

7- While at said beach house, I ran upstairs to tell Madi and Lucy it was time for dinner.  They scurried on down and as I headed back to the kitchen I heard, “SARAH!”  I went into the master bedroom, from whence Madi and Lucy had come.  I found Darin (17 year old nephew) wrapped up in a blanket on the bed.  “Why did you tell them it was time for dinner?  We were telling each other secrets and now I’m never going to know who they like!”  That kid seriously makes me laugh.

6-(After a music class at the library)

Adam: And mom, Juliet was there.

Me: Was that fun?

Adam: (giggle) Yeah.

Me: Do you like Juliet?

Adam: Ummm, yeah.  And maybe she even said ‘hi’ to me when I waved at her.

5-Introducing the older nephews –DarinSkylerBraden- to this little bit of culinary heaven.  Of course, that led to a raiding of the pantry to see if any other cookies worked as well as Keebler Grasshoppers in melting into gooey goodness.  Chocolate chip cookies crumble too easily and Oreos (even with a hole poked through the middle of the frosting) just act as a straw with no melting at all.  Just in case you were wondering.

4-Dance party.  On the drive from CA to AZ, I got Adam, Eli, Lucy, and 3 girl cousins.  We had a blast—dancing and playing and lots of talking.  (Lots and lots and LOTS.)  Luanne had a car full of boys—pretty stinky boys, apparently.  I think I won.

3-While the rest of the Bradshaw clan went to Disneyland, the kids and I stayed at the beach house and played.  I took them on the ferry to Balboa Island.  We walked around and got frozen bananas and played at a teeny tiny playground.  On the ferry ride back, a man got out of his Mercedes to take a picture, and he told me, “Looks pretty busy with those kids.”

Me: Yep, always.

Man: Are ALL those kids YOURS?!?!

Me: (Wondering if he is perhaps a blind Mercedes driver, as the kids all look the same, just different sizes) Yes.

Man: Wow.  (After getting back in the car, with the windows all the way down and me and the kids sitting 2 feet away, he turned to his wife.)  That lady said that all of those kids ARE HERS!!

Made me laugh.

2-(After throwing the Angry Bird that Isaac and Zach made out of Legos across the room, and the subsequent disaster)

Kye: Hmmmm, Isaac?  Stanley failed his first flying lesson.

1-I came across Darin and Skyler surrounded by younger cousins one day in AZ, and this is what I heard:

Skyler (to young cousins):  Raise your right hand and repeat after me.  I (state your name) solemnly swear that I will stay chill at all times, no matter what obstacles stand in my way, I will be nice to everyone and resect my elders.  Never exclude fellow bros.  No matter what chill level someone else is on, whether they be hot or cold, brown or white, happy or sad, big or small, girl or boy.  I promise to treat them equally and stall chill always.  And that's all.

And then they wrote it down.  And signed their names.  Delightful.  I hope it sticks.

Bradshaw Top Ten--January 2012

One of my resolutions this year is to do a top ten every month.  I’ve never been such a slacker before.   On top tens.  I’ve been a slacker in other areas for many, many years.  And I’m okay with that.  But I’ve never been such a busy mother of five before either, so I guess it all evens out. 

I’m not sure I can legitimately call this a Bradshaw top ten, however.  It should be called, “Whatever comes out of the mouth of the four year old top ten.” He’s the one I’m with all day long.  Well, he’s the one who speaks.  The youngest is around all the time, too, and though we all cheer and clap and laugh when he masters things like patty-cake, it’s hardly a story that’s top ten-able. 

Moving on, here are the latest and greatest happenings from our humble little household:

10)  A: If we had another baby and it was a girl, I would name her Mr. Bojangles . . . but that would be weird.  I would name her Lady Bojangles.

Mmmhmmm.  That’s not weird at all.

9) “Lamesauce on a slice of pita bread with a side of you’ve got to be kidding me”=that which I apparently wrote on a scoring sheet for a game Zach and I played.  Which I lost.  Which Lucy found one day when she was looking through that notebook.  Which she thought was hilarious and repeated at least 50x a day for the next week.  Which wasn’t even that funny. 

8) A: What’s the inside part of our bodies?  Is it aliens in there?

7) Kye-Kooski the basketball star.  Is it because he rebounds?  Nope—shortest kid on the team.  Is it because he dribbles like a pro?  Still working on that skill.  Is it because he makes all his shots?  Nope again.  Still the shortest kid on the team.  Is it the defense?  Yes, yes it is.  Heard the term “in your face?”  That’s Kye on defense.  Not super legal, but in 3^rd grade ball nobody notices except the kid he’s guarding.

6) Organization Station: there’s just something about organizing and dejunking in January.  I loooooove it.  And I usually start 7 projects at a time and then get burned out on all of them.  This year I just worked on binders: a kids’ binder with all their papers in it, a financial binder with all-things-finance in it, and a home management binder with every other single thing I can think of.  You’d think a month would be enough time to get ‘em done.  Nope, still working on it. . . sigh.

5) My conversation with Adam one morning:

A: Is the earth a ball?

M: It’s round.

A: Why does it look flat?  Will we fall off if it is round?

M: Explanation of the size of the earth and its gravitational pull, etc.

A: Where’s Jesus?

M: I’m really not sure at this second, but wherever he is, he’s doing Heavenly Father’s work.

A: Do you know who the king of the Pokémon is?

M: Nope.

A: It’s Arcius.

Case in point why, no matter how much they study, scientists will never understand the brain of a preschooler.

4) What makes Eli giggle, as discovered by his overly-anxious-to-please siblings who love to hear him laugh:

·         Playing airplane with his food.

·         Adam shaking his crib after naps and before I have picked him up.

·         Tickling his neck, back and legs.

·         Reading “Mimi’s Toes,” his all-time favorite book.

·         Adam stepping very lightly on his stomach and shaking his foot.

·         Getting scratched by Z’s goatee.

·         Dancing.

What makes him scream, as discovered by everyone within a 30 foot radius:

·         Pretty much everything else.

3) A general sadness befell the house when I told the kids it was the last year we’d be going to Gma and Gpa’s house in SD.  We made a plan to have the most fun we could this last time: a visit to DeSmet, to see the Laura Ingalls Wilder homestead, a trip to the Children’s Museum of SD, a climb up the Campanile and ice cream from the Dairy Barn, lots of swimming, nonstop imagining in the Enchanted Forest, ATV rides on the back country roads at sunset, ATV rides through the black-eyed susan fields, constant cousin play, a stop at Mt. Rushmore on the way there, a stop at Martin’s Cove on the way back.  Oh, we have plans.  Boy do we have plans.

2) I: One thing I don’t think I’ll ever say as a dad is “Stop licking the wall.”

Oh, you’d be surprised buddy boy.

1) While helping Kye study for his spelling bee, Lucy threw a beanbag and hit Kye square in the face.  He fell over and clutched his chest.  After a minute, he eyed Lucy and said, “Don’t just SIT there, you’re responsible for killing a man!”

October 2011 Top Ten

I'm just going to glaze right over the past four months or so and get straight to the goodness of our October.  I'll plan on going back to cover those other months someday.  I know awesome stuff happened.  Just gotta remember it.  Till then, enjoy a little of the best, worst, and weirdest from the Bradshaw's.

10--After walking in the front door of the home of some family friends we grew up with in SD (whose home is just around the corner from our new neighborhood), I immediately sensed trouble.  Their beautiful home is white--white carpet, white tile, white walls, white couches.  I suggested to the kids that we stay in the tile entryway.  Then Sister Flake gave them red suckers.  Ack!  And Adam ran down the hall.  "Please come back to the tile, Adam."  Then, "Please come back up the stairs, Adam."  And "Please, please don't attempt a handstand with your red, sticky hands on the couch, Adam."  Finally, "Please stop licking the front window, Adam."  Really?  REALLY!?!?!  We left soon after.  I think we'll invite them to visit us next time. 

9--Three: the number of jackets we were down because a certain 8 year old lost them all at school.  Two: the number of jackets we managed to find again.  One: the number of jackets we will probably never, no never, see again.  One: also the number of children in our home who went to school freezing on the morning it snowed because I hadn't gotten down the winter gear yet.  Lucky thing he found those jackets in the lost and found before recess.

8-I mentioned awhile back that Isaac had joined the ranks of enthusiastic shower singers.  His "life as a musical" has broadened to homework time.  I was unpacking some boxes one afternoon while Isaac was reading his homework book.  Part of the homework is to read it backwards.  Isaac has always found this incredibly dull.  To liven things up, he started singing it . . . operatically, with vibrato and all.  I was trying really hard not to laugh because I knew he thought no one was paying attention to him.  When I heard "mornihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihing" with fake vibrato I couldn't stop myself.  I laughed till I cried.  Literally.  Love that kid.

7--Lucy's amazing bravery.  Had I snapped my arm like a toothpick, I'm pretty sure I would have been writhing in pain.  Though she said it was excruciating, Lucy impressed everyone who saw her -- from her family, to the ER physicians, to the people in the ER waiting room with her incredible courage.  The guy who placed her IV told her that she survived with a little twitch what made grown men cry.  I was thankful when she got some medication for her pain so she could relax a little bit.

6--Halloween haul.  After letting the kids sort through and keep a ziploc bag full of their booty, we still have 10 lbs. of candy to dispose of.  I know kids love Halloween and all, but what do I do with 10 lbs. of sugar?  No, seriously, what should I do with it?

5--A: How old is daddy?
M: How old do you think?
A: Ummm, six?
M: Isaac's six.  He's older than that!
A: Eleven?  Eight?  Uh, three?
M: Older, older, older.  He's 37.
A: Thirty-SEVEN?  HOLY COW!!!

4--Library-less month.  We moved to Springville just as they closed down their library in order to move it to the new building.  When I told my kids they wouldn't have books from the library for a month, they nearly cried.  Fortunately, we got our kids' books unpacked pretty early and they've been doing a bit of rereading.  The older three attended the grand opening of the new library last weekend with my sister and their lives are now complete again.

3--Isaac's made up board game "We're All in This Together":  (One of our favorite family evening activities is to dance to the IPOD and High School Musical often comes up.)  He drew squares on a paper and labeled each square with our family's names.  Gonna be honest, I couldn't figure out the point of the game.  Then he had us take a quarter and drop it on the paper.  Whoever we landed on was the person we were to do a private act of service for.  Brilliant!  And from a six year old, I might add.  What a kid.

2--After using a--ahem-- rather strong voice to "encourage" my children to go to bed without kicking, punching, wrestling, or teasing each other, Adam looked up at me curiously.  "Why did you not use a friendly voice, mom?" Unfortunately, my friendly voice must be inaudible because heaven knows no one in this house seems to hear it. 

1--Quick weekend trip to L.A.  Zach met me there for the weekend after flying back from Korea.  While he tried to adjust to the time change (AKA -slept-), and Eli napped, I read a book on the beach.  And then visited with Erin . . . on the beach.  The whole weekend was delightful: walk down to Hermosa, lunch and dinner downtown, quiet, one on one time with Eli (he didn't know what to think of so much attention), dinner with Zach's family, wedding events for the Barlows (especially enjoyed the in-law song and the flash mob at the reception), a missionary report, visiting with cousins, hanging out with Erin and Stu, and a final walk on the beach to see the sun set.  Just about perfect.  Thanks again to the Purdys for their hospitality!

Better Late than Never!

Bradshaw Top Ten -- May 2011

10—Adam (as he high tailed it in the house): There’s a bee outside!

Me: Oh, it’s fine! It’s not going to hurt you.
A: But it STUNGS people!

9- Isaac (while Gma D was visiting for Kye’s baptism): *Sigh* I wish I could take Gma D. to school inside my mystery bag and have the other kids guess what I brought.

8—Adam (on seeing me change Eli’s diaper): That’s gisdusting!
M: Everybody poops, sweetie.
A: Yeah, but he poops green.

7—Isaac: I need to tell you something before I forget.
M: What’s that?
I: A kid in my class can speak alien.
M: Ummm, how do you know?
I: Because he spoke some.
M: What did it sound like?
I: Like ours only some of the letters changed.

6—Kye’s baptism day. He waited so patiently an extra month b/c Eli was in the NICU the first Saturday he could have been baptized. Gma and Gpa D. flew up from AZ to spend a few days with us. It was a good, good day.

5—We’re game players around here. We love us a good board game. The kids were playing a good, old-fashioned round of Clue when Kye stopped the game and said, “Lucy! We forgot a very important part of the game!”
L: Um,hum? What’s that?
K: We forgot to put the (who-done-it) cards in the packet!

I just wonder how long they were playing before they figured it out. All I know is that I heard peal after peal of laughter from the boys’ bedroom.

4—Adam: The bird that only has one leg is exactly called a flamingo.

All righty, then.

3—Isaac: I think boys have a lot of flarp in them. Like boys have 5 gallons of flarp and girls only have one.

Uweeee—I think that kid’s on to something.

2—One of the chillens went through a tongue clicking stage for awhile. It got to be a little, ummmm, disturbing on the ears. I was still surprised when I heard Adam say, “Isaac, you better stop clicking or mom is going to pull out your tongue!”

I’ll admit it drove me batty a little bit, but I never, not once told him I would pull out his tongue. (At least that I remember and/or will admit to.)

1—Little E turned 5, 6, 7, and then 8 weeks old. And he grew, and grew, and GREW! It’s always funny to me how fast my kids grow when the come into the world so small. We love our little Eli-Eli-o.

April Top Ten

Top ten things done, said, or otherwise experienced in April 2011:

10-Isaac: If a girl tries to . . . you know . . . like tries to kiss me before I’m married . . . (dramatic pause) . . . I’m gonna use karate on her. HIYA!

Hmmm, maybe I should have him sign a contract on that one.

9-Lucy’s aversion to eating green food (read “anything healthy”) continues. After loading up her fajita (sans meat) with cheese, sour cream, and tomatoes, I told Lucy, “You need something green on that.” She looked at me. She looked at the food spread out on the table. She looked at me again. She grabbed one single piece of cilantro, threw it on her tortilla, and starting laughing hysterically.

Everyone’s a comedian, I tell you.

8-Adam, a wordsmith in the making.
A: (while playing Go Fish) Mom, do you have a stunk?
M: Umm, no. Go Fish. And that’s a squirrel.
A: Oh, it looks like a stunk.

Skunk, Stunk . . . seems like it could have been more aptly named, doesn’t it?

7-With the arrival of the new kid came those wonderful postpartum hormones. Zach took a bite of my toast as I left to run to the hospital, and I was so irrationally enraged I almost punched the wall. Well, okay, maybe not. I don’t punch things because I’m afraid it will hurt my hand. But you get the picture, right?

And then there was the morning Kye asked if he could join the Pokemon club at school. I burst into tears. Literally. Burst. Into. Tears. I said, and I quote, “We just (sob) can’t do (sob) one more thing right now (sob).” Which made Kye burst into tears. *Sigh*

6-Baby #5 made it home. After 12 long days in the NICU, Dr. Paxton busted Eli outta there. We were expecting at least another day, so I was thrilled. I called Zach to let him know we were on our way home, so he took the day off work. The kiddos were on their first day of spring break, so everyone was home when I walked in the door carrying Eli. There was screaming and clapping and dancing and even a little crying. It was the first time we were all together as a family and it was a little fantastic.

5-A: Can I see the swimming poodle? (aka the pool noodle)

4-M: I need to feed Eli.
I: Mom, you should invent a baby feeder.

I think Heavenly Father did a pretty good job with the invention of mothers, but what do I know?

3- Feeding specialist at the hospital: You have FIVE kids? You look way too young to have five kids.
M: You are my favorite person right now.

2-L: Mom, Isaac just totally believed my April Fool’s joke that you were going to have another baby.
M: I just had a baby!
I: I know, but it’s cause your tummy is still, you know . . . (complete with hand motions to indicate a round belly).

Kids. Gotta love their honesty, huh?

1- Our second new arrival. Can anyone say “swagger wagon?” That’s right baby. We are now the owners of two (yes, TWO!) minivans. Until we figure out what Zach’s next car is going to be, he gets the old MPV. We thought he should take out the back seats and put in some subwoofers and make himself a sweet ride. Whaddya think?