For Your Enjoyment

My sister wrote an ode. I love odes. I used to write them all of the time. Ask everyone I gave birthday cards or letters to back in my high school days. They were bursting with odes. Anyway, the love for odes must run in our family . . . and this one's pretty dang good. Thanks, Meels.

ODE TO THE CHILD I NEVER KNEW I HAD:

Who pulled sweet little Audrey's hair?
Who drew with permanent marker on the chair?
Who brought in all this dirt?
Who cut a hole in my brand new shirt?

Who made a stuffed animal's home in my shoe?
Who dumped out all the Elmer's glue?
Who was eating sugar with a spoon?
Who made the mess in the living room?

Who, I ask, could be doing such things?
So I gather up child #1, 2, and 3 . . .
and ask in my patient mommy voice,
Who dared to make this bad choice?

And innocently as innocent can be
All three answer, "NOT ME! NOT ME!"
Not Me you say, what a child!
He seems to be rather naughty and wild.

So I informed kiddos 1, 2, and 3
If they ever see this child, Not Me
To ask him to go away as quick as can be
Because he's making a mess and driving me crazy!

*Reposted without permission because I keep forgetting to ask every dang time I talk to her.
**This poem was based on actual events . . . and when I write "based," I mean "happened to the very minutest detail."

***Is "minutest" a word? It really should be.

Watch Out

He'd better put this thing away before he trips over it.

Snack Time

A new favorite place to eat.

Good Riddance . . . I Mean "REST IN PEACE"

Sadly, after almost 3 years with us, Goldie bit the dust. Lucy was so upset she ran and hid in the closet to gather strength and comfort. Two minutes in, she got distracted by a book and apparantly made record time going through the grief process. Nonetheless, she refused to attend the official flushing because it was just too sad. Zach, Kye and I attended. Kye thought it was a little gross but couldn't take his eyes away. I washed out the bowl in a flash and put it out in the D.I. pile. I may or may not be thrilled with the extra counter space. But that's just between you and me.

p.s. Aren't fish supposed to float when they kick the bucket?

The World is His Canvas

Why is it that children enjoy drawing on their arms, legs, feet, faces, and on walls, doors and furniture so much more than they like to draw on paper?

Top Ten--February 2010

10—I’ve always been skeptical of the term “gasp.” Authors use it all the time, but really, do people actually gasp in a regular conversation? This question is not rhetorical—I actually have an answer. The answer is yes. Here’s how I know:

M: Did you know when I was young, there was no such thing as an answering machine?
L: Wha!?!? How did you ever know if your friends called you?
M: You didn’t . . . well, unless they told you later.
L: *GASP*
Apparently this information was shocking enough to emit the elusive gasp. Really?

9—Does anyone else wait with baited breath for their regularly used prescriptions to make it past the required waiting period until they can make generics for it? No? Just me? Well then maybe I WON’T tell you how thrilled I was when a generic came out for Adam’s daily breathing treatment. (But I really will cause it was awesome.) Goodbye, $60 Pulmicort. Hello, $35 generic substitute that works just as well.

8—Lucy had the distinct honor of participating in the school wide spelling bee. The spelling bee which she told me she didn’t think parents could come watch. So I didn’t go. And one of my good friends, who went to watch her 3rd grader participate, told me all about it. I wasn’t there to see Lucy get 3rd place (“certainly” was her downfall) and be pretty darn excited about it. Good job, Suessy (as Adam calls her).

7—Isaac’s recitation attempt of the famous tongue twister:
I: That girl, um, she sells shells at the shore.
M: She sells sea shells at the sea shore?
I: Yep. That’s the one. . . . How do you DO that?

6—M: Kye, what can you do to be more like Captain Moroni?
K: Uhhh, fight Isaac more?

5—While talking with Lucy about reading comprehension enhancement activities she could do, she said, “I don’t think those things would help me. I already remember things. Like I remember when I was reading The Secret Garden, I got a paper cut under my thumbnail.” Hmm. Not sure what that has to do with reading comprehension, but whatever.

4—M: Isaac, when I speak to you, what do you hear?
I: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
I KNEW it!

3—K: I don’t know if I want an apple. My mouth isn’t really in the mood. (Later, as he was eating it.) It kind of tastes like the smell of the sand table at the Dinosaur Museum.

I’m pretty sure my mouth wouldn’t be in the mood, either, if the apple tastes like the smell of sand.

2—Adam: Is Azziz comin’?
M: Who?
A: Is Azziz comin’?
M: Audrey?
A: No, AZZiz!
M: The Larsons? (No) The Hansbrows? (No) The horses? (NO! AZZIZ!)
M: (Finally remember we’d just gone to the library and then to get pizza, two things we always do before Zach and I go on a date.) Ohhhh! Ashley? (Our babysitter.)
A: Yeah, Azziz. Is Azziz comin’, mom?
M: No, sweetie. Not tonight.
A: Oh, maaaaaaaaaaaan!

1—M: Isaac, I brought you into this world and I can take you out!
I: What does that exactly mean, mom?
M: It means I carried you when you were a baby in my tummy and I gave you life.
I: So . . . . . is your stomach heaven?

Bountiful Baskets

I signed up for a wonderful produce co-op called Bountiful Baskets this week. Looks delish, doesn't it?
But really, I didn't get any of this stuff. I got a whole bunch of other stuff that I didn't take a picture of. So, you know . . . Anyway, as happy as I am with all of the fresh fruits and veggies I got this week, I'm pretty sure my favorite part was getting to ride there and back with my fabulous friend Emily and start the day off with a good chat. Thanks for the ride, Em.

Fabulous Five

Five of my very favorite things about little Zeeky for his fifth birthday:

1) Cuddles: if you follow that whole 5 love languages thing (and who doesn't, really?) Zeeky's #1 lanuage is definitely physical touch. He loves hugs and cuddles and holding hands and laying all over whichever parent is nearest him during a movie or scriptures study or Family Home Evening or church or (fill in the blank).

2) Imagination: when he was just 2 years old, Isaac would spend an hour putting the silverware away because as soon as he touched them, forks and spoons became rockets and spacemen and flew all over the kitchen. His current interests are Legos and building anything he can get his hands on.

3) Bounce-back: I've seen this kid trip head over heels and faceplant on the stairs and hop right up and laugh. It doesn't happen all the time, but often. He makes me laugh.

4) Literary Taste: We've read Isaac's favorite book about a million times in the last month or so. Fortunately it is also one of my favorite children's books ever--When Dinosaurs Came with Everything. We love it.

5) Focus: Isaac has an incredible ability to focus on whatever he is involved in. If he is not interested, however, the focus is gone. Case in point: I cannot get this kid to look at a camera. There is always something more interesting to the left. Or to the right. Or behind the photographer. Or behind him.

We love this kid so much. How thankful I am that he is in our family. Happy 5th, Zeeky!