Top Ten--February 2010

10—I’ve always been skeptical of the term “gasp.” Authors use it all the time, but really, do people actually gasp in a regular conversation? This question is not rhetorical—I actually have an answer. The answer is yes. Here’s how I know:

M: Did you know when I was young, there was no such thing as an answering machine?
L: Wha!?!? How did you ever know if your friends called you?
M: You didn’t . . . well, unless they told you later.
L: *GASP*
Apparently this information was shocking enough to emit the elusive gasp. Really?

9—Does anyone else wait with baited breath for their regularly used prescriptions to make it past the required waiting period until they can make generics for it? No? Just me? Well then maybe I WON’T tell you how thrilled I was when a generic came out for Adam’s daily breathing treatment. (But I really will cause it was awesome.) Goodbye, $60 Pulmicort. Hello, $35 generic substitute that works just as well.

8—Lucy had the distinct honor of participating in the school wide spelling bee. The spelling bee which she told me she didn’t think parents could come watch. So I didn’t go. And one of my good friends, who went to watch her 3rd grader participate, told me all about it. I wasn’t there to see Lucy get 3rd place (“certainly” was her downfall) and be pretty darn excited about it. Good job, Suessy (as Adam calls her).

7—Isaac’s recitation attempt of the famous tongue twister:
I: That girl, um, she sells shells at the shore.
M: She sells sea shells at the sea shore?
I: Yep. That’s the one. . . . How do you DO that?

6—M: Kye, what can you do to be more like Captain Moroni?
K: Uhhh, fight Isaac more?

5—While talking with Lucy about reading comprehension enhancement activities she could do, she said, “I don’t think those things would help me. I already remember things. Like I remember when I was reading The Secret Garden, I got a paper cut under my thumbnail.” Hmm. Not sure what that has to do with reading comprehension, but whatever.

4—M: Isaac, when I speak to you, what do you hear?
I: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
I KNEW it!

3—K: I don’t know if I want an apple. My mouth isn’t really in the mood. (Later, as he was eating it.) It kind of tastes like the smell of the sand table at the Dinosaur Museum.

I’m pretty sure my mouth wouldn’t be in the mood, either, if the apple tastes like the smell of sand.

2—Adam: Is Azziz comin’?
M: Who?
A: Is Azziz comin’?
M: Audrey?
A: No, AZZiz!
M: The Larsons? (No) The Hansbrows? (No) The horses? (NO! AZZIZ!)
M: (Finally remember we’d just gone to the library and then to get pizza, two things we always do before Zach and I go on a date.) Ohhhh! Ashley? (Our babysitter.)
A: Yeah, Azziz. Is Azziz comin’, mom?
M: No, sweetie. Not tonight.
A: Oh, maaaaaaaaaaaan!

1—M: Isaac, I brought you into this world and I can take you out!
I: What does that exactly mean, mom?
M: It means I carried you when you were a baby in my tummy and I gave you life.
I: So . . . . . is your stomach heaven?