Top Ten: October 2013

Aaaaaand that's two months in a row, folks. On FIRE!

10) Isaac’s unfortunate inheritances:  My hearing and Zach’s spelling

Exhibit One—

Lucy: My canker sore is really hurting right now.

Isaac: What is a kangaroo shoulder?

Exhibit Two—As seen on his geography test:  Sowthamarkia, Eurup, Psifik, Alantik, Indin, and Astrila. 

Oh, dear. . . But 10 points if you can interpret this bad boy, also from the same test: rsikol.

9) Slugbug, Out of State License Plates, and Twinkie (yellow school bus) sightings all warrant a punch in our family.  I’ve tried to stop it but that hasn’t caught on yet.  And if the kids aren’t near enough to punch someone, they save them up.  I had to laugh one morning when the kids flew out of the van like bats out of you-know-where, trying to avoid Kye and the Twinkie-sighting punching rights he’d gotten on the drive to school.  (He saw 17.  Truth.)

8)Eli (running excitedly into the bathroom one evening): IWANNABRUSHMYTEEF!!  IWANNA BRUSH MY TEEF!!

Lucy: Sheesh!  I’ve never seen a 2 year old so excited about personal hygiene before.

7)  Sign seen on a Phoenix, AZ freeway in October: “Winter Driving Conditions: Drive with Care!”  Outside temperature noted: 86 degrees.  I know people acclimatize in AZ, but that’s just ridiculous.

6) Adam: I can’t do it!

Mom: Yes you can.  You can do hard things.

Adam: No, Kye can do hard things.

5) Adam: When we passed Burber King, I saw a mini-Twinkie there.

Dad: Oh!  Did you eat hamburbers there?

4) Eli (AKA The Amazing Rubber Boy).  That kid fell from a porch swing directly down one of our window wells with nary an injury, except the smallest of scratches.  I’m kind of surprised he didn’t just bounce right back up out of there.

3)During drug free week, we discussed our family rules about drugs, which ended up being something like, “Never, ever, EVER do them or we will cut off your hands and if you have no hands you can never eat another banana . . . and you guys all like bananas.”  That should keep them clean.

2) Most experiences with your last child have something of a nostalgic, almost bittersweet tinge to them, as you realize this is it for you.  Potty training is not one of those things.  We were struggling a bit getting Eli to do his deed on the potty. . . until we bribed him with the IPad.  I’ll be danged if that kid can’t poop at will now.  Not even kidding.  If he ends up with hemorrhoids, we can blame the IPad and its allure for 2 year olds.

1)After reading Moroni’s challenge at the end of the Book of Mormon to come unto Christ and be perfected in him, Adam thoughtfully replied, “I’m almost perfect.”

Mom: Um, what’s that sweetie?

Adam: Yeah.  I pretty much am perfect.

Practically perfect in every way—that’s my boy!