Top Ten--June 2010

If you have an hour or three, proceed.  If not, come back when you do.

Another whole month come and gone. My niece told me that as you grow older, your brain’s perception of time actually changes so that it feels like it goes faster. I wonder if that’s true. It feels true. It’s been one of those months. Busy and fun. I knew it would be an interesting one when I told my son to quit picking his nose during sacrament meeting and later found him trying to stuff the booger back up because he didn’t know what to do with it. So, so gross.  And funny. Little boys are gross and funny. It’s hard not to laugh. Now . . . on to the good stuff.

10—9 years, 7 months, 8 days: How long we made it in our peaceful, calm (haha) lives before a boy called Lucy on the phone. Of course, he was calling to arrange a time for their neighborhood book club, but still! (Can you tell that she’s my daughter? Book clubs at the age of 9? Reading things like Laura Ingalls Wilder and Fablehaven and Charlotte’s Web. I’m so proud. Sniff, sniff.)

9—One of these things is not like the others. Three of these things are kinda the same:
M: What do you want to be when you grow up?
L: A police officer on a horse, or a rancher.
K: A police maybe.
I: A police.
A: A astonaut . . . no, I don’t want to be a astonaut, I wanna be a wocket ship and fah-ly in da sky.

8—Who the heck is in charge of assigning a tooth fairy to our home? Cause they stink. Our tooth fairy forgot to get Kye’s tooth. Luckily, Kye figured out the next morning that the tooth had slipped down the side of the bed during the night and she couldn’t find it. Not very proficient, is she? (Thank goodness for a lazy tooth fairy.)

7—M: Adam, the answer is no and you need to stop asking me.
A: No, the answer is yes.
M: Adam, the answer is no.
A: That is a very bad choice.

I love it when Love and Logic comes back to bite you in the . . .

6—A typical FHE:
• Isaac leads the music like he’s landing an airplane.
• Lucy goes from the piano bench to the ottoman to the couch over and over to get away from whatever brother feels like he must be within touching distance of his favorite sister.
• Adam runs around like a recently freed jail bird singing at the top of his lungs.
• Kye and Isaac (when he’s done landing the airplane) lay on the couch like their spines have been surgically removed from their bodies.
• Zach sprawls on the big chair (hmmmm, must be where the boys get it), welcoming everyone to FHE.
• I sit wherever there’s an opening, hoping we make it through another night alive.

And we do. And we learn and grow and love each other and look forward to our next FHE together.

5—Scripps National Spelling Bee might just have their youngest candidate yet. Observe:  After Isaac tried to convince Adam that he was playing with Isaac’s car because it had an “I” on the bottom, Adam said, “No it says ‘b-s-h’ . . . Adam’s car.”

(And to show the power of emphatic spelling):
Adam: Kye, please moooooove. Move.
Kye: (No response, as he was watching something electronic.)
Adam: Kye, move!!
Kye: (No response again.)
Adam: Kye, MOVE!!! . . . . Move! . . . h-w-p-i-j-k-l . . . MOVE!!!!!

Hmmmm, I guess you have to spell correctly to make it in the Scripps Bee. Dang it all—I thought we had something going.

4—Our first born son inherited a little more than just his father’s name. He also got (1) his love of puzzles (2) his love of electronic games (3) his complete inability to stand still while talking on the phone. After losing a tooth, Kye called Aunt Camille, Aunt Becca, Ethan, Ryan, Grandma D and Grandpa D. I'm pretty sure there’s a path worn into our brand new wood floor.

3—Adam speak (interpretation provided):
• Crunchy=Cracklin’ Oat Bran
• Pop=Golden Puffs
• You wan get a musswoom=You’re one gutsy racer
• Seelo=cereal

Hmmmm, seeing a theme here.

2—Summer travel begins: On our way to the Bradshaw Family Reunion in Prescott, we stopped at the Grand Canyon to have a quick look. It was big. It was deep. It was beautiful. And I held on to the back of Adam’s shirt the entire time because I may or may not have a slight issue with heights. And he moves a lot.

1—I’m pretty sure I’ve heard “Mom, it hurts when I do this” (while kid does some inane thing like poking pinkie with a screw) about a million times. And I have responded “Then don’t do that” about a million times. Isaac, however, opened my eyes to the lengths kids will go . . .

Coming out of his bedroom one quiet evening, he said, “Mom, I have to show you something.” He then proceeded to lay on his back and rock his feet up over his head repeatedly. He said (with an incredibly worried look on his face,) “When I do this,” (rock, rock, rock), “I feel a little sick . . . “

I couldn’t help it. I laughed till the tears came.

And this concludes our episode of the Bradshaw Top Ten.  See you again next month.  Have a good one.  We certainly will.